People Change

It's amazing to see how people change. I've read it somewhere that there's a word for it call "Grow up"

Take myself as an example, I used to be:

1. Happy
2. Active
3. Have faith in people
4. love makeup
5. love exploring
6. Feel free
7. Doing things I love
8. Have passion at my job
9. No goals
10. Waste money
11. Fantasize my happy marriage life
12. Irresponsible

It has only been 2 years, and I've:

1. Got married
2. Have a daughter
3. Stopped going to the gym
4. Stopped feeling happy
5. Stopped obsessing over makeup
6. Used the same palette for over a month (that never happen after I discover makeup) 
7. Started loosing passions
8. Started feeling unhappy everyday
9. Started feeling I am not myself
10. Discovered there's no fantasy
11. Discovered Marriage life sucks
12. Started saving
13. Started to be responsible
14. Started goals

I used to feel I can do anything, but now I feel miserable.

Stall - A Nasty Unsupportive Husband

If you live long enough, there will be the day where you need to refresh your Résumé, get out in the job market, and compete with others qualified individuals for whatever position that can sustain your family, your financial needs and your pride, your passion and your whatever. Job hunting, mid-night searching for positions, customizing cover letters, thinking deep about your weaknesses, your strengths and making up stories of what you would like to achieve in five years and your ultimate, perfect, goal for life. 

I guess, my time has come, where I need to perform the above mentioned tasks - on top of the cooking, child teaching, floor sweeping, dish washing, laundry folding, story reading, and other wifey tasks. It is not easy just thinking about the complexity, let alone, living it everyday; it is especially harder WITH AN ASS ATTITUDE, UN-SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND. Every single decision I made, he has to veto it.

• He has to give me the non-industrial related information he gathered from his friend who is not even in the field I worked and told me that my job market is limited and my growth in the society is limited. 
• He would tell me to make a decision and stick with it and he would support me until eternity; to later asked me to take whatever crap that I can take when it is offered.
• He would tell me at 2:00 PM that I do not need to transfer the babysitter cost to his account, to later at 8:00 AM the next day asking me where is the money, cause he didn't see it in the bank account.
• He would say that I support whatever decision you made, to later tell me that I am inferior and I didn't think about the family. 
• Conclusion - he is an ASS

The story behind is: 

My current company has announced its close of business and will end our employer/employee relationship at the end of March 2014. Having over 5 years experiences with the company, and all the areas I've worked along this 5 years - I am passionate about event planning. I love the people, the professionalism, the tasks involved and almost everything else that comes with it. However, all great thing will come to an end. My boss, who in his late 50s, probably thinking about retirement and have decided to close the company down.

He'll keep 2 of the employees to run daily stuff until the business wine itself down. It was a sad announcement. 

A FUCK YOU instead of SORRY

3/24/2014, Monday, 6:45 PM

Just got home from work with baby bear, Michaela.

Her dad has Monday off and has been working on some light packing, moving and whatnot. I have the majority of stuff packed in boxes already over the weekend, and boxes are ready for movers tomorrow, 3/25/2014, Tuesday.

So, the first thing he did is greet her daughter, Michaela, then he asked me where the cable ties are because he needs to hang up the "BEWARE OF DOG" sign at the front door of our new house, TONIGHT, (I guess otherwise the house will burn down or something I suppose). I told him it was in the wine case.

Him in the kitchen and me in the living room with Michaela in my arms

He said: "I can't find it."

(I looked at the untouched wine case and thought, it is impossible that items on top of the wine case will be tidy if he really did searched in there, and so)

I said:" Did you even search the wine case?"

(His tone changed and sounded irritated, raised his voice and)
He said:" What the fuck you mean by did I even search the wine case? I told you I searched it and I couldn't find it, can you just shut up and get me the cable ties already?"

(I feel dishearten and thought, here he goes again)
I said:"If this is the tone you have to ask for someone's help, you know that no human being will help you with that attitude."

He said:"I don't want to fucking argue with you, just get me the fucking cable ties."

(I stayed silent, with Michaela in my arms, we both stare at him)

He yelled again:"Are you going to get me the fucking cable ties or not, fuck your mom, are you going to get me the ties or not? (slowly increasing his tone)"

I said:"You are not going to get what you want with that attitude."

He yelled:"Fuck you what fucking attitude?"

(I stayed silent)

He said:"So what the fuck do you want me to say?"

I said:"Sorry? I need a sorry from you."

He said:"I didn't do nothing fucking wrong and I'm sure as hell don't feel sorry for you. Now are you going to get me the fucking cable ties?"

(I turned my back, with Michaela in my arm still, grab my purse and go upstairs)

He mumble:"If you don't get me the cable ties, I'll go out and buy it myself, is no fucking big deal."

(I breastfeed Michaela and play with her a little in bed)
(He then stormed up)

He said:"So are you going to get me the cable ties?"

I said:"I just need to hear you are sorry."

He yelled:"I'm not fucking sorry, I'll go out and buy it myself, I'll take Michaela with me."
(I stayed silent and watched her took Michaela downstairs. I walk downstairs, search the wine case and found 6 cable ties, I handed them to him)
(He didn't say thank you, arrogant bastard)

He said:"So are you going to pack the storage by tonight?"

I said:"Yes"

He said:"I'll take Michaela to the new home so you can have all the time to pack this up yourself."

(They left)
(I continued packing and group up some remaining items like Michaela's toys, wet wipes, scattered socks, some markers, pens around the floor, run the last round of laundry, while the maniac took my daughter to the new house and watch TV)

Questions: Does a women life have to be like this all the time? I don't think I want to live like this for the rest of my life.